Perception and time

Perception and time have been rolling around in my head for a few days. When I was in junior high school the seniors seemed so sophisticated, stylish and knowledgeable. They seem to understand life and where they were going. I looked up to them and I wished to be like them one day. I had the same feeling while in high school. When it was my turn as a senior I did not feel sophisticated, stylish or knowledgeable. I was insecure and did not know what I wanted out of life. Did anyone look up to me that same way?

There is perception of a situation and then there is reality. The focus was always looking forward to what is new and what will be the next experience. What will it feel like instead of living and enjoying the present. A change is this perception must be part of the wisdom of getting older.

My relationship with time has been very intriguing. I rushed time as a child, never wanting to be still. I was always adding on and accumulating experiences. I did not allow these experiences to be processed and allow them to resonate in me but rather I barreled on wanting more and more. One day, in a quite moment, it starts.... thinking about the experiences and perceptions I've carried with me from my childhood. With time I am now able to see how I got to where I am standing today.

I am trying to live consciously and not worry about perception and time. To be able to look back at my life with the benefit of some life experience is a gift of time and it has changed my perception.

Perception and time aka welcome to adultville!

Mother

At what point do you really feel like a mother? It has been 2 1/2 months since the birth of my daughter and it is still not real that I am a mother. It's pretty obvious since I gave birth to her that I am her mother but what is it suppose to feel like? I have been pondering this topic for sometime now.

It is the most unbelievable experience having Annabel in my life and each day she becomes more engaged in the world and with this I am more in love with her. She makes me want to be the best person I can be. I want to do better and be better. I am conscious that she will learn some of her most important life lesson through the example I set, yikes!!!

August in Manhattan

If you live in Manhattan you should not be in town for the month of August, the weather is just too brutal, it is just against the law of nature. What happened to the rental by the beach or the cabin in the catskills? Is it too late? I never seem to get it together in time. Oh well, I do love when the UES empties out for the summer and on holidays.